Thinking about my future

My mind is working hard lately. Probably that is why I am at homenow doing my blog because I am not able to walk to school. Tak sedap badan. I think about how to set up a business. The best part, online business. I want to spend my time at home. Most of the time, so that I have time to be with my family and teach my children. I almost give up to be employed. Tapi aku tak tau cmna nak start. Dari mana, macamana, bagaimana, dengan siapa, dan sebagainya. Persoalan yang aku tak tau nak ajukan kat siapa. Well, nanti aku pk lagi. Sebab la ni aku nak rehatkan minda aku, and tido. zzzzzzzzzzz...............

Hari yang memeningkan

I watched McLeod's Daughter this morning while having my breakfast. There was a part that showed Stevie with her niece, Charlotte. That scene suddenly brought me to think about my lovely baby, Iman Maisarah. This morning, I have sent her to her babysitter since I have to help my mom cleaning her house due to kenduri last night. Well, it seems like my feeling is mixed up. With.... I dunno. So many feelings come at one time. I was thinking about my life back at Kino, my life before when I worked after married, and now, kinda jobless work and stay more at home (even though I do a freelance job).

Being almost jobless for one year, I feel sometimes good, sometimes bad. It's good to raise your own child and spend many quality times with her without being rush to work. You know, kinda 9 - 5 working hour is really tough. I do like being jobless. Hahah... but at the same time, being like this will not help me to generate much income in my life particularly. I think about having a business right from home so that I do not have to go tooooo early and come too late in the evening or worse, late at night. I want my work location to be very near to my home. But.... is it possible? I just wonder what kinda business that I can make? Will it be tough? Can I survive if the business down? Am I able to handle a business anyway? Adussssssssss......... Aku pun dah pening.

Trip to Langkawi

Trip to Langkawi. For the first time ever in my family. 7-9/2/2008. Naik flight, which was a scary movie. hahaha... Well, that was my first experience being board on a plane. Mcam naik bas jugak la. Tapi ni bas terbang. :D Trip 3 hari dua malam and stay kat Hotel Helang, just next to Langkawi Airport.

Bertolak dari LCCT kul 8.30, smp sana kul 9.15. Pukul 10, kami dah mula atur langkah. Sewa MyVI. Eh, seronok gak naik keta tu. Memula p Wildlife Park, seronok giler... coz byk binatang. hehehe... Maklum la. bawa anak. that's the most fun thing for her. Sempat lagi bg makan kat arnab. We was surrounded by rabbits asking for carrot. After that, we went straight to our hotel. Took a rest and after 5, we went out for food hunting. Lepas tu, jln2 sat kat Cable Car area then lps isyak baru balik hotel sebab Maisarah dah meragam since tidonya waktu ni diganggu. Kami tak naik cable car tu coz kadar kesengetannya hampir melebihi 60 darjah. Huih, seram aku tengok.

The next day, we went to Underwater world. Hmmm.. Not bad, but paying 38 per adult was not worthy as compared to 18 at Wildlife Park. Not because of the prize. But because of the value from the price. We were there for almost an hour before we left the place and headed to Kuah for shopping. Just imagine. We bought chocolate worth RM400. Giler ke apa agaknya!!! But not only for us. Some of them are for souvenirs utk org2 di kampung. After having our dinner, baru balik hotel.

The last day, lepak sat kat hotel, main kolam sat, pastu baru check out. P pusat kraftangan and then p taman buaya. Hmmm... ok la. Our flight was at 8.15 p.m. So, maghrib dalam flight ler jawabnya. We reached LCC at 9.15. Adik aku amik angkut kami bawak balik ke rumah. Perghhh... penatnya!! But it was fun. Perjalanan balik naik flight was ok. Tak teruk masa perjalanan pergi.

Macamana sebenarnya 'rupa' kawan?

Semalam aku down. Down memikirkan macamana sebenanya rupa kawan. Susah senang bersama ke? Senang je bersama.. tapi bila aku susah, aku kena faham utk tidak menyeret dia sekali dalam kesusahan aku ke? atau dia sepatutnya tampil membantu bila aku susah? Materially, or psychologically? Ntah la. Suami aku pernah kata, bila dia tgk kawan2 'baik' aku (berdasarkan pengalaman tikaman dari belakang yang seringkali aku alami), dia tertanya-tanya kenapa aku masih mengalami tikaman demi tikaman walaupun aku masih terus dgn sikap timbang rasa dan cuba memahami kenapa aku ditikam. Dan bila dia bandingkan dgn kwn2 baik dia, tak penah plak dia kena tikam.
Aku bergelut dengan bisik2 hati. Mahu lupakan apa yang dia lakukan kerana tidak mahu memutuskan silaturrahim? Bukankah memaafkan itu lebih baik? Tapi, sampai bila aku perlu beralah dan menerima apa sahaja yang orang lemparkan pada aku? Perlukah aku memaafkan? Macamana pula dengan kawan aku tu yang tidak mahu memahami keadaan aku? Macamana? Macamana? Entah la... Aku pun bingung... atau sebenarnya aku bengong...